Our Perthonal Athylum
by AlternateExistence
Summary: In which all of the lovely children and trolls alike find themselves in for the long haul with far from an excess of wiggle room. Expletives are shouted, personal bubbles are popped, and the general goal is to keep a grip on sanity... all in a collection of loosely connected snippets. Slight AU. Varied pairings upon request.
1. Our Perthonal Athylum

_A.N:: And so the shenanigans ensue. xD This "story" if you can even call it that is literally a giant swath of random ideas and possible head-cannons I decided to expand a bit and will most likely end up only loosely connected to one another, if that. So then, shall we begin?_

* * *

**Title:: Our Perthonal Athylum  
****Word Count:: 1,515  
****Warning:: Cannon swearing xD  
****Summary:: Somehow, they all made it through. It had taken more than Karkat thought they had in them but it was true. Now all that's left is to decide what to do next... this should be fun.**

They had made it.

In spite of rampant imps, tyrant queens, time shenanigans, and a majorly supped up Jack Noir everyone was alright and aboard the meteor express, shooting through the vast abyss of scenic Furthest Ring away from what should have been the destruction of the Green Sun. It had taken more than a shit load of blood spanning the entire spectrum, sweat, and tears to match to not only get to this point but do it with no one dead more than once, ok maybe more when it came to Aradia, but it was accomplishment none the less.

Needless to say one Karkat Vantas felt as if a momentous weight were briefly lifted from his young shoulders. He still felt haggard and thoroughly exhausted as his yellowing irises trailed over the assembled group of trolls, plus two newly created God Tier humans, but still glad to some extent. There was no telling what would await them once they reached the newly created session or how they would manage spending so much time with one another though he found he didn't really care to think about it now.

Dave and Rose were glancing between each other and themselves with muted expressions of surprise at their abrupt transfer from blast zone to solid ground but ended up gazing about at the trolls who now milled about. Most of them had refused to take part in the pestering of said kids and were partly intrigued by the aliens, with the humans sharing the same feeling as they glimpsed the trolls for the first time. It was like a dual way zoo and Karkat only rolled his eyes as he began to trudge in their direction and turned his back on where the Green Sun still shone. It was retreating into a luminous pinprick among the endless darkness and shadowy forms and already seemed very far away, its continuing existence was another thing that could be put off dealing with to later. Now he would just have to make a half-assed attempt at rounding everyone up and possibly sorting out how their stay on the jet propelled hunk of rock would go down. He didn't quite have the chance though.

After taking a few heavy steps forward that left his feet barely breaking contact with the ground a bright light flashed before the Cancer among the loose ring of his friends with an accompanying CRACK. His rebellious think pan immediately supplied a helpful gaggle of scenarios including a rapid spawn of bloodthirsty imps with very much troublesome First Guardians powers as well as a dive-bomb by one pissed onslaught of mutant, katana wielding canine. He stumbled backwards with one hand fluttering clumsily to the sickle hanging at his side but felt his expression sag into an irritated deadpan at the appearance of their new, ahem, guests.

With a particularly dopey expression of surprise plastered across his face and blue eyes blinking out of a daze behind thick lenses John Egbert now stood among them. Jade was beside him with a pleased smile and girlish giggle accompanied by a twitch of her ears. Wait, ears? Since when did godhood make for a half woof-beast mutant? As if there weren't enough of those running around at this point. Not finding much motivation within him to particularly care or question this at the moment Karkat simply let the hand with a death grip on his sickle handle slacken to fall limp at his side once more. Eyeing the two other humans he then stalked the few more feet forward that were necessary to bring him among the others.

"Well look who finally decided to join the party," Vriska's voice floated out from where she stood off to the side with arms crossed and fangs flashing in a fierce grin as her wings fluttered briefly behind her. John gave a couple more rapid blinks at that and seemed to suddenly realize his location judging by how he glanced about in visible wonderment, taking in the numerous trolls and stopping on his friends long enough to flash them an enthusiastic smile. Rose simply returned the expression with a soft one of her own and Dave lifted his hand lazily to display a brief thumbs up. The same exchange repeated as Jade raised one arm straight up to wave frantically in their direction before taking a grip on the collar of John's God Tier hood and dragging him over to them bodily.

She chattered something unintelligible to the other two to which they responded with varying calm murmurs and gestures waving off her apparent concerns. The four seemed momentarily oblivious to the dozen other aliens mere feet from them and Karkat found himself growling irritably.

"Yeah yeah now we can be one big, happily fucked up family. My enthusiasm is overflowing," He retorted to which the Scorpio replied with a thin smirk and rude gesture, this he readily returned.

"I think it's just purrfect," Nepeta chimed with her usual enthusiasm, Equius looking none too pleased as his morail did so. A superiority complex towards the humans was most likely already fast in the making. "Even after that catastrophe we all managed to make it here."

"Yes I think it's glubbing fantastic!" Came Feferi from the left of the loose circle and as a follow up she practically pranced over towards the four to look them over with wonderment gleaming in her eyes. "No horns? I truly had to sea it for myshellf." The fuchsia blood moved as if to begin prodding their heads to confirm that they were indeed missing said appendages before Eridan dragged her back none to gently.

A round of heated bickering erupted between the two sea-dwellers not a moment later and Karkat was about to break out a double facepalm combo before a lilting laugh made him pause. The sound had come from John who now looked positively gleeful standing among his friends and the inquisitive trolls with not a clue in hell how this had all managed to work out. He only continued grinning in that almost painful looking ear-to-ear stretch and slung an arm over Dave's shoulders who promptly began attempting to shrug him off as nonchalantly as possible, to no avail.

"And just what the fuck is so fucking funny you wriggling nook-sniffer?" Karkat snapped in a particularly colorful bout of expression.

"What do you think, Karkat?" John practically sing-songed with a punctuating giggle, what guy actually giggled anyway? "Not only are we all together and _alive_ but I actually get to see the guys behind the multicolored text, heh."

If it was physically possible for one person's… troll's expression to darken even further then Karkat accomplished this goal as he glowered silently in response before throwing his hands up in exaggeration.

"Yeah whoopdie-fucking-doo," He said with sarcasm practically dripping from his tone. To his further irritation John only continued his insufferable beaming, and to make matters worse a fair number of the others seemed to be falling prey to the positivity rolling off the Heir in waves of sunshine and rainbows. A chorus of light-hearted chatter and the occasional laugh erupted from the other trolls as they turned to exchange a word with those nearby but, either way, Karkat was having none of this shit.

"OK LOOK," He boomed with a voice to match his typing style that effectively drew attention to him once more. Once he was sure of their alertness he lifted one hand to press at his temple and distribute a glare evenly around the area, pointed incisors bearing slightly. "We've got a _long_ trip ahead of us and that means we're going to be seeing a fucking ungogly amount of each other. If possible we'll have to lay down some fucking guidelines so most of us can make it out with totally melting our pans into steaming goop."

"In other wordth," Sollux lisped from behind Karkat causing him to jump with a collection of angry swearing and then chuckled roughly. "Welcome to our perthonal floating athylum."

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_A.N:: Well I suppose that's it. :3 A fair beginning if I do say so myself, low standards are always effective, that leads well into what I have planned for the rest of this. I also use the word "planned" very loosely since this work in general is just an excuse for my snippets to be as unrelated and choppy as I care for them to be. Welp, should be entertaining either way no?_

_Reviews to a writer _

_Are like chicken soup to the soul_

_So then, mind passing me a bowl?_

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	2. Face to Face

_N.A:: And here we have to second installment of "Homestuck brain drivel aboard the insanity express", or at least that's how I view this story. -3- Very sorry if this seems a tad angsty and not at all alike the roller coaster of random crap I promised. I have a handful of ideas in the form of one-word prompts saved in a Word document somewhere but i'm attempting to set things up a bit more, this is also a thought I've had for a while so... here we go._

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**Title:: Face to Face  
****Word Count:: 2,133  
Warning:: Swearing~  
Summary:: As the initial excitement begins to fade the kids are left to reflect a bit on how incredible it is that they made it to this point, but not without a few challenges along the way**

Overall the attempt at laying down ground rules didn't get very far. If you listened carefully one could pick out something about "keeping all idiotic nooksniffers out of personal space" as well as "filthy mits off of each other's shit" but the ordeal mostly degenerated into a chaotic shouting match with arm flailing for emphasis. Karkat ended up storming off with a long chain of expressive expletives trailing in his wake and after that the others trailed off to be left to their own devices.

A few more curious glances between troll and human were exchanged before the separate groups truly parted ways but ultimately the four humans were left to sort out a place to crash. John, Jade, Dave, and Rose meandered somewhat aimlessly down the monotonous hallways occasionally glancing into a room here and there and chatting as they pretty much lost themselves in the meteor's maze. The initial excitement still buzzed through each of the children though it was now muted by the sudden rush of exhaustion as the chaos of the day finally set in. Anyone who had ever claimed suffering through a "long day" should have their skull caved in with a bucket.

John seemed particularly enthusiastic over his friend's God Tier outfits and pointed out Jade's furry ears on multiple occasions, causing them to twitch irritably and only egg on his teasing. In spite of this a lax and content aura settled over the group and there was a heavy feeling of reluctance in the air as a pair of suitable rooms were discovered for the night.

The distance was only mere feet across the narrow hallway lit by long trails of fluorescence but an unspoken agreement was formed as the boys and girls split off to the adjacent spaces. After what had happened, leaving each other's sides was not an option.

Most of the bedrooms conjured within the complex network were the same in format. However in an interesting turn of events what had once been a recuperacoon or two was now replaced by a rather lumpy yet still enticing bed topped by a white quilt. None of the humans felt any need to question how such accommodations had been made for the new species and instead settled onto their own spaces with varying degrees of grace. Shoes were cast off haphazardly into corners along with an article of clothing or two to better serve as sleep-wear and lights were immediately clicked off, plunging the rooms into impressive degrees of darkness.

* * *

"Hey, Dave?" Came John's sleep ladened voice from across the room of one Dave Strider. With the combination of total darkness and overall I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck-I'm-too-tired attitude his ever present shades were shifted up to rest among the blond strands curling above his forehead and he wasn't even attempting a "cool" sleeping position. You know, arms crossed loosely behind his head in a make-shift yet ironically effective cushion and a general sense of chill settling over his person. Yeah. To hell with that.

This dude saw absolutely nothing wrong with sprawling face-down onto the thin mattress with his gangly limbs strewn about and shades most likely forming decidedly not cool imprints into his pale flesh. However he managed to lift his head ever so slightly at his best bro's sleepy tone and stifle a yawn. "Hmm?"

"Isn't it cool that we get to see everyone now?" John asked with a childish sense of wonder creeping into his voice, it was enough to make Dave crack a small smirk. Because even a dead tired Strider kept to his coded smirks. "Not just the trolls, but I actually got to see what you, Jade, and Rose looked like. The people _behind_ the multi-colored text."

"Yeah I guess it's pretty awesome," Dave conceded as his gaze slid to where the ceiling was presumed to be, not that he could see it. "Being able to get an eyeful of all these godly Strider looks has that affect."

John snorted at that though it was audibly muffled by pillow fluff, seemed like facedown relaxation was a habit for those who had recently gone through Armageddon and back. "Obviously. But you know I'm serious right?"

Dave paused before giving a loose shrug, fully aware of the fact that it wouldn't be seen in their current situation. All the same he was momentarily unsure what to say. Damn, if that didn't spell the end of the world, possibly universe, he didn't know what would.

"It's actually kinda funny how close we were before even seeing each other's faces," John continued as his fingers idly played with the end of his God Tier hood.

"You are right about that, bro. Pretty mind blowing. What, afraid I was going to be even more put off from your derpiness than before thought possible? I'm immune by now."

"Oh har-dee-har. You're an ass."

"Says the one rambling about how fucking close we are, like peas in a cozy pod."

"Heh, you got me there. I'm… still glad though," John's voice had thinned out now and seemed to quiver ever so slightly, gog his emotions were so easy to read. He didn't even need to see his face.

However, Dave wasn't far off. Not that he would ever show it. "Same here," He mused as he wrestled with his mind to keep his tone neutral. Fuck it, might as well rip off the metaphorical bandage. "We actually managed to make it out alive."

Dave could hear John's breath hitch before he uttered a dry laugh. The sound made the Knight want to flinch in its borderline emptiness and found himself continuing in an attempt to take stock of the damage. "I mean we must be pretty fucking special to slug through all that crap. Jegus, I do sound like an ass."

John laughed again though it seemed genuinely amused this time around, much to Dave's relief. "Who's the derp now?" He teased warmly earning a rough grunt from the other boy. "But yeah I get what you mean… we made it out with super cool powers to boot. I'm just really happy that I can say that about all of us."

"Me too dude, me too."

* * *

"Who ever though I'd be glad to see a _bed_?" Jade exclaimed as she threw herself bodily onto one of the mattresses landing in a rather unceremonious heap of dark hair and cloak. Rose only smiled softly in reply as she sank down onto her own bed, managing to retain as much grace as possible in her movements before simply laying herself across the pillow and tugging the blanket up over her form. Jade groaned into her pillow as the continued presence of the annoyingly bright lights was recognized and heaved herself back onto shuffling feet to move towards the entryway, slap the light switch repeatedly before it clicked, and then stumble back to her bed.

"I'm so tiiiiiired," The Witch whined and Rose could practically imagine a puppy producing a similar noise as it begged for table scraps. Irony at its finest, Strider would be proud.

"I'm aware of that and share similar feelings," Rose replied in a practical drone as the last of her energy seemed to bleed into the mattress cradling her below. Under normal circumstances the object would be considered unbearably lumpy and uncomfortable but in the current circumstances it was a godsend. "I planned to remedy that actually."

A faint giggle floated across the impossibly dark space and Rose momentarily raised an eyebrow, delirious possibly? It wouldn't surprise her.

"Same," Jade drawled before a yawn escaped her and her eyelids sagged over dulled green irises. "But I just can't believe we got to this point."

Rose paused at this producing a thoughtful silence before she hummed in recognition. "Yes it's quite the feat. We all managed to beat near impossible odds and come out mostly unharmed."

"Unharmed?" Jade echoed before silence once again fell over the two, this one heavier than the last as Rose waited for an explanation of her friend's quizzical tone. She bit her lip before continuing. "Rose… I know what happened to you and John. I saw it in the clouds."

"Oh," Was all that Rose said in reply, truthfully stunned by the revelation and not quite sure what else to say. Rather than mentally hunker down to map out her reply the Seer simply allowed her mouth to move without thinking, she just didn't have the energy.

"I see what you mean now," She breathed gazing across the room into nothingness. The corners of her eyes stung rebelliously but the result of such a sensation would never be seen from Rose Lalonde, may paradox space strike her down before-hand. "It was… distressing."

"Distressing?" Jade seemed dubious now and there was a hollow creak as she sat up to stare in her direction with ears pricked. "Don't give me that! They were your _parents_, I'm surprised that I couldn't see it in either of you today. I wouldn't have had a clue otherwise."

"I don't see how it was your business," Rose snapped and immediately regretted it as yet another bout of silence began to creep into the air, not on her watch. "No, Jade, I apologize for that. It's just… left me very weary. All of it I mean."

Jade cracked a weak smile at that and nodded more to herself given the low light. "I'm sorry too, it really wasn't my business if you guys had no intention to tell us. I just don't want you to feel like you have to be so indestructible, we… we're all broken now after all." The last bit was spoken with a sad sort of wistfulness and a punctuating sniffle.

"I actually feel like the lucky one. Your Mom, John's Dad, Dave's bro; my guardian was gone before all of this even started. Even Karkat mentioned something about his lusus or whatever being gone."

"Don't say that," Rose chided, pushing aside the truly twisted nature of their conversation. "You have suffered just as much as any of us. You feel as if we're putting up a front? I'd be unhappy if you did the same."

Another giggle reached Rose's ears and she felt a rush of relief before allowing a yawn of her own to slip delicately past her lips. She was fading quickly as sleep clawed at her subconscious and she couldn't imagine Jade was faring much better across the way. "We can both promise to be open among friends, no? Now that we've finally come face to face."

"Exactly. Goodnight, Rose."

"Goodnight, Jade."

* * *

_N/A::__ Well then, as always, thoughts? I've recently realized that Homestuck in general is freaking SAD, I mean seriously. Everyone's "parents" die in some form or another, home planets are utterly destroyed, and a bunch of 13 YEAR OLDS are the ones left to deal with all of it. Welp. Anyway you don't have to worry about me cranking out any more angsty bits unless they tie in with an idea or request I happen to receive since I dislike unhappy endings. Bittersweet is alright, but never as utterly heart-breaking as some that I've managed to stumble upon q.q Oh that's another thing, if you happen to have a specific OTP or general pairing you wish to see hinted at or flat out fluff stuffed don't be afraid to drop it by in a review. There are multiple ideas I have that could possibly include a lot of pairings at once and I'd like to keep it from being totally about my personal likes, since I don't even have them quite sorted out xD_

_Reviews to a writer_

_Are like chicken soup to the soul_

_So then, mind passing me a bowl?_

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	3. Meet the Patrons- Part 1

_A.N::__ Alrighty so here we have the third installment of Our Perthonal Athylum in all it's awkward glory. :B Again I somewhat found myself attempting to lie down a bit of a plot before the Word document of prompts I have at the ready truly comes into play. Ah, that was another topic I wanted to touch on. For anyone who may have been confused on the utterly self-serving AU I have in place for the story it's basically working around all of the mass murder episodes and angst ridden carnage so that every one of the trolls are alive and well, also altering the fact that Jade was unable to transport them to the Furthest Ring so her and John get to join the party. This is purely so that I have to ability to include every one of their wonderful personalities in these shenanigans rather than the, what, six who actually made it to the meteor alive? q.q Anyway, I hope you find some semblance of enjoyment from this ._._

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**Title:: Meet the Patrons  
****Word Count:: 2,342  
****Warning:: Swearing, again  
Summary:: After a good night's rest our favorite teens are up and about on the meteor with the goal of meeting the trolls who assisted them throughout their session in mind**

John woke as if floating up from the depths of a seemingly bottomless pool, a pool of Betty Crocker made jello at that. The evil mistress seemed to have her claws in every snack product known to man. The Heir groaned as he lifted his hands curled into loose fists to rub at his eyes and attempt to cast the heavy drowsiness from them as well. It only worked slightly.

"Hey, Dave. You awake?" He mumbled squinting across the still utterly lightless room. Well what did he expect? There were, A, no windows to be had and, B, even if there were there would obviously be a crap load of Furthest Ring sunlight pouring in wouldn't there?

An unintelligible grunt met his ears and John couldn't help but crack the beginnings of a lopsided grin. It had to be pretty much the equivalent of noon or later for Mr. Cool to be at all conscious since, and he quoted mentally, "Cool dudes don't give a shit about early birds. They get their fucking worms when their feathery asses feel like getting out of bed." He stifled a snicker at the thought.

"Why in the name of gog are you screwing with my sleep cycle, Egderp? It's not nearly late enough for all of this to be up and shining," Dave grumped though a brief bout of shuffling signaled the other boy's movement as he swung his legs over the edge of the mattress. John didn't reply to that and instead slid himself down from the bed and proceeded to twist and reach in a variety of stretches before tromping towards the door and flinging it open in a showy fashion.

"Mother fu-," Dave practically screeched, but not _really,_ as piercing, unnatural light lanced into the room and right into his pitifully unprotected irises. With a fair amount of fumbling he yanked his shades down from where they still perched atop his head and leveled a coolly irritated gaze towards his now raucously snorting friend. "John if you weren't under the merciful protection of "bro-dom" your skinny ass would be launched clear off this hunk of space junk."

"Yeah yeah, oh Dave the merciful, I'm humbled by your good graces. Now can we get a move on? Places to go, alien life forms to see!"

Another round of grumbling in response as the Knight reluctantly slouched out the door to be met by a beaming Jade and mildly amused looking Rose out in the hall. Schooling his features into a neutral deadpan Dave only offered a brief "Sup" in greeting, to which the girls replied with varying degrees of morning enthusiasm. Jegus were they all insane?

"I see we've all gotten a good night's sleep," Rose commented lightly and John ran a sheepish hand through his mussed mop of dark hair, bed-head was an understatement. "So then, shall we be off?"

"Aye to that!" Jade chirped brightly and began to flounce down the hall in all her girly splendor, with her now fully awakened friends trailing not too far behind. Nothing was said about last night's conversations but a renewed sense of comfort settled over the group as they trekked through the twisting halls in an attempt to locate the meteor's other occupants.

It was impossible to tell how long they spent meandering about with no real sense of direction but even Dave had begun to frown with each dead end they managed to herd themselves into. However, the dull murmur of multiple voices floated down the corridor suddenly and the humans picked up their pace as they made for the nearby doorway. John reached the archway first poking his hooded head inside with a loud thump as his hand smacked against the stone wall, effectively drawing 12 curious pairs of eyes from within. Many of the assembled trolls sat before the numerous computers lining the tables set into the walls while others took up positions hovering idly or… sitting on a pile of horns?

The Heir let out a near silent "eep" as the metaphorical spotlight was trained on him but waned as his companions drifted in behind him. He then gave a small wave and characteristic grin which Jade mirrored.

"Humans," Eridan remarked tersely from where he sat in one of the computer chairs with his arms crossed and features twisting into a scowl. "You wwould fink that all they did wwas sleep."

"Dude I think we have more than enough of a reason to get some shut-eye," Dave retorted bluntly with his usual aloof posture and crimson God Tier hood shadowing his face slightly. The Aquarius' facial fins fluttered as he glared and opened his mouth to reply before the other sea troll slapped her hand across his mouth, effectively halting the conversation.

"It's motherfuckin' cool bros," Came Gamzee's lazy drawl from where he perched atop the horn pile, flashing an only slightly offsetting grin as he did. "Sleep's a miracle and then some, motherfuckin' necessity for us players."

"I think we've established the fact that we have indeed slept in a bit," Rose interrupted smoothly and allowing her pink eyes to trail about the room with muted curiosity. "But we are here now. And I believe the plan was, to be blunt, to get a better look at those who have been observing our plight thus far."

A disgruntled "che" came from Karkat, or at least the nubby horned troll established to be the moody caps speaker, as he continued tapping away at whatever he was doing at the computer. Obviously not trolling certain humans anymore. However the remark seemed to diffuse any lingering tension in the air as most of the troll's continued going about their business, the rhythmic tapping of keys filling the space.

"Well I think we'd all like to see our patron trolls in particular!" Jade said with a bright smile which earned a nod from each of her friends. "Now we just have to figure out who is who…"

"Hey look it's Mr. Cool Kid! Heh heh."

"GAH!" A yell tore from Dave as he was suddenly bowled over by a flash of pointed candy corn horns and red-tinted glasses, leaving the others effectively stunned as they lept back to avoid collision. The Knight lied dumbly against the tile as his assailant situated herself directly on his chest wearing an almost manic grin.

**AWKWARDBREAKAWKWARDBREAKAWKW ARDBREAK**

_Please disregard this cutoff .-. The damn thing was getting a bit long so I decided to chop it in two... just, carry on. o_o_


	4. Meet the Patrons- Part 2

"Terezi?" He questioned blinking at her from behind his shades before scowling slightly and abruptly pulling himself upwards to shove her off bodily. She relinquished him without a struggle before her face was suddenly inches from the human and he had to fight back a startled flinch.

"Well yeah," She replied and then proceeded to lick one edge of his hood. Fucking. _Licked it_. "Mmm, candy red just like that text you're so fond of. Glad I finally get to meet Mr. Cool without a computer screen blockin' the way."

"And I get to see the psycho chick who can apparently smell and taste colors like fucking skittles," Dave gruffed in reply as he attempted to pull back from the Libra.

"That you do, cool kid. Awesome, I know."

Dave and Terezi continued to banter back and forth as the Knight managed to clamber back to his feet without another physical assault and John chuckled. He could've pieced that pair up together without much trouble, they were like siblings… or maybe gender bends of one other.

"That leaves the three of us," Rose remarked to her remaining companions as Dave continued his conversation aside before being tugged off to who knows where by the cackling troll. Each teen felt a slight discomfort as this occurred, the distance already beginning to feel too great before the thought was pushed aside. Hey, sometimes you needed a personal moment with your own alien cyber-stalker.

"Heh, well both me and John could technically go pester Karkat," Jade remarked as she cast a sly glance in the short-fused Cancer's direction before giggling and shaking her head only a moment later. "Though that can wait, there were others that we talked to right?"

John answered a bob of his head and fell into a brief, thoughtful silence. Would Vriska be easy to pick out among all of the others? She certainly had a… unique personality but he was a bit hesitant to go labeling based on looks alone.

"I am almost positive I recognize Kanaya, and I do believe that Jade has caught one of their attentions," Rose suddenly pulled John from his musings and he raised his head slightly with a blink as he looked about for said troll. Off near the back corner one of the male trolls ducked his head as if embarrassed when the Heir's gaze trailed in his direction, sporting a pair of wide, bull-like horns.

Jade flushed slightly in her own display of embarrassment before giving another light giggle and waving off her friends as she flounced in his direction. Though neither could hear their conversation the Witch seemed to greet him cheerfully and he flashed her a nervous grin before muttering something in reply and patting his legs.

"Hello, Rose," A silken voice drew John's attention away once more and he looked up to meet the eyes of a pretty female troll with somewhat mis-matched horns and lightly curling black locks. She offered him a soft smile greatly resembling Rose in expression before fixing her gaze back onto the Seer, who was now smiling along with a pleased vibe radiating off of her.

"Well hello, Kanaya. It's a pleasure to finally meet you after your assistance in the game." She replied and, well, after that John lost track of the conversation with record speed. It was almost unsettling how alike his friends appeared to be to their patron trolls, or at least in some aspects which tugged the corners of his lips downward in a light frown. It would take quite a bit of finagling to compare him and Vriska, if what he had gathered from her via Pesterchum was anything to go on. Drawing away from the two sophisticated young women and meandering across the wide room John's God Tier hood trailed along the ground as he moved, no longer lifted and tossed about by the Wind as it had constantly been before. He swept his gaze over the majority of the assembled trolls avoiding direct eye contact but none seemed to even lift their heads from their tasks. Truthfully, he was beginning to feel a tad distressed before he felt a sharp tug as his hood snagged, slipping the garment off his head and pressing slightly at his throat.

John immediately gripped at the thick, blue fabric and turned with a bewildered look before he was met with the viciously grinning face of yet another troll. Every sharp fang was visible in her smile and they seemed to flash in the low light as he briefly took in the rest of her appearance. One eye concealed by a black eye-patch, a thick mane of wavy dark hair, and long, curving horns; one hooked and the other splitting into a sharp crescent. Interestingly enough though, she was also decked out in her own God Tier outfit, shimmery looking wings fluttering slightly behind her.

"Plan on gawking at me all day?" The newcomer remarked with a brief snicker as she tossed a portion of her hair over her shoulder and fixed him with her yellowed gaze. "I know I'm stunning and all but staring is never polite, John."

John took a moment for the girl's mannerisms to click in his mind but a moment later his face was split into a wide, goofy grin. "Vriska!"

"Yeah no shit Sherlock. Took you long enough to put the pieces of this oh so complex puzzle together."

"Heh, sorry I was just getting a bit down since I had no idea which one was you."

"I'd say I'm offended but I suppose you little humans were confused with the number of us trolls out and about."

John rolled his cerulean eyes at that and slipped his hood back up to cover his mussed hair though the tip still rested in Vriska's long fingered grip as she plucked at the end. "Seriously, the 'tiny humans' routine is so stereotypical alien."

Vriska shrugged at that and released her hold on the fabric allowing it the flick to the ground in a coil with the rest of the banner-like article. "Be glad, John, the mighty Mindfang is actually sacrificing her precious time to speak to the likes of you," She drawled with a somewhat snobby tone before poking the tip of her tongue out and grinning once more. "But then again you managed a respectable ranking so I'll make an exception."

"Oh yeah! So you made God Tier too?"

"Obviously."

"Cool, I saw another girl wearing a hood by the way. She had the same symbol as Dave and wings too, is that a troll thing?"

"Ugh, John you're leading this conversation down a boring road, I don't even think the arrival of you and your monkey buddies will provide any extra entertainment on this hunk of rock," Vriska answered with a huff that disturbed a semi-curled lock of hair hanging in her face. John pouted slightly at the remark, feigning a sort of mock-offense before they both ended up laughing and grinning once more.

"But seriously, if things keep going like they were before we had another session to mess with I might have to start drawing a map of this gog forsaken labyrinth of a place. And that is not something that Vriska Serket plans to resort to any time soon. Capeesh?"

John chuckled again and lifted him hands palms up as his shoulders rose in a loose shrug. "I'll do my best, Vriska."

_I think things should be plenty interesting,_ He added mentally as the Scorpio launched off onto a tangent including something about stiff asshats and general uptightness in spite of a dire need for entertainment. _We are still playing, after all._

* * *

_N.A:: *Party poppers are pulled, cheap confetti clumps rain down.* Weeee~ So, yes. That was my attempt at introductions between the kids and their patron trolls so I hope it didn't fall too flat, I tried not to rush it but at the same time these "one-shots" are getting a bit long. Bluh. Anyway, thoughts? Too heavy on the dialogue? Enough description? Any anger due to hinted pairings (I'm not even sure if I was trying to avoid that)? All opinions are welcome opinions and like I said feel free to tack on a pairing you'd like to see, entertaining situation, or even a single word prompt.  
_

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	5. Hair Spectrum?

_A.N::__ So here we have the first technically prompt based snippet. :B It's actually centered around a thought that got me thinking not too long ago and I thought it would work well with where the last chapter left off, heh. So then, enjoy~_

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**Title:: Hair Spectrum?  
****Word Count:: 1,368  
****Warning:: Swearing ._.  
****Smmary:: Jade notices an aspect about trolls that gets her curious and asking one brown-blooded Taurus all about it. Some fluff depending on how you view it... don't kill me**

"Do all trolls have black hair?"

"I, uh, w-what?"

"I was just curious; do all trolls have black hair?" Jade placed her elbows on the cool ledge supporting the quietly humming computer monitor to her right and leaned her weight forward as she repeated the question. Her bright emerald eyes were dancing with curiosity and she fixed them on the Taurus as he shifted about awkwardly in his chair, avoiding direct eye-contact per usual.

"Y-yeah I, uh, guess so," Tavros replied choppily as he laced his fingers together on his metallic lap.

"I mean, me and John have black hair but that's kinda just coincidence," Jade went on her voice taking on a somewhat thoughtful tone, as if really beginning to consider the notion more. "But then there's Dave and Rose, obviously, and humans have a whole bunch of other hair colors too."

"Straight up strands of miracles up and growing from their noggins," Came Gamzee's lilting yet deep voice from where he sat a few feet off on his own chair. His legs were drawn up onto the seat and jutted out in a mess of long limbs and sharp joints as he added his piece to the conversation.

Jade giggled lightly at that and her ears twitched and twisted among the thick mass of her dark locks. She'd taken off the hood not long after waking up the other day, which included holes for the furry appendages, and realized this allowed a startling range of movement. It was strange having two pairs of ears and the added sensory reception had nearly blown her away initially but she was steadily becoming accustomed to the new additions that a number of the female trolls had approached to fuss over, the cat-like girl Nepeta seemed especially fascinated. All in all it had been a total of three days since their arrival on the meteor, which was a pretty vague concept given the lack of sun and moon, but the built in computer clocks did help at least the humans maintain semi-regular sleep cycles.

Each of the kids had spent a fair amount of time with their patron trolls over that time and attempted to get to know the other trolls a bit, though many were unbearably prickly in their own ways, and Jade for one was very happy. Though he had been exceedingly awkward during their first meeting because of the last bout of contact over Pesterchum/Trollian Tavros was easy to talk to and his shyness held a certain, dare she say, cuteness factor as well. They traded stories about their time in the game and the Witch commonly wrestled with the urge to ruffle the shaggy mohawk perched between his wide horns as he stuttered or widened his eyes in awe at a particularly interesting point in her reminiscing.

Gamzee was also very pleasant to be around with his lax sort of friendliness and obvious affection for the more timid male. His statements occasionally took some decoding on her part but she enjoyed both their company none-the-less, she also found the Capricorn's personality a very entertaining mix with Karkat as the Cancer ranted constantly towards his morail yet seemed to seek him out every so often.

"What, uh, other colors are there?" Tavros piped in somewhat hesitantly though his curiosity was evident as he shifted forward ever so slightly. Gamzee also seemed to be displaying a rare bout of focus towards the subject and regarded Jade silently as she blinked once or twice before shrugging her shoulders.

"It's not anything too special," She replied at first before pausing briefly to tap at her chin in thought. "Brown and black are the most common but then there's blonde, what Dave and Rose have, and… red."

Both trolls seemed taken aback and shared a glance before the questions began flowing. "Really, red?" Tavros echoed in awe, most likely imagining the vivid shade of Dave's God Tier hood or Terezi's glinting lenses.

Jade nodded and then laughed again with a toothy smile. "That's pretty rare though and there are different kinds," She explained as best she could. "There are people with a sort of light orangey color and then the really bright kind, I've always thought that was _so_ pretty."

"Sounds like nothin' short of a motherfuckin' miracle to me," Gamzee mused twiddling a lock of his wild mane between two long fingers. "Your hair is up and nice too though, like ink and all wavin' about prettily."

Jade felt the heat flood to her face at the passive compliment and she looked away as her hand came up to pat at her hair almost instinctively.

"Y-yeah, I, uh, think so too," That was Tavros this time around and Jade muffled a squeak of surprise as she had momentarily forgotten his presence just a short distance beside her. "But it, uh, makes me feel like we're missing out. There's not even different kinds of black…"

"Heh, well, you know different species and all," Jade replied with an awkward strain to her tone as she fumbled to craft a decent reply. "Though, you guys don't like sunlight, right? The sun has a big affect on hair color for most people."

"Makes motherfuckin sense, sister," Gamzee replied with a lucid nod before his attention seemed to wander again and he lowered one lanky limb to push off the tile floor in a spin.

"Sunlight, huh," It was Tavros' turn to laden his tone with a thoughtful air as he pondered her explanation before frowning slightly, the tip of one fang poking out against his lower lip. "Yeah we, uh, don't really do sunlight."

Jade only nodded silently and there was an awkward lull in the conversation before her mouth was open once more and a stream of idle words coming forth. "I mean, it lightens colors. Dave and Rose both have really light hair but Rose mentioned how hers was nearly white one Summer," She stopped to let out a tiny giggle of amusement. "And she really isn't the outdoorsy type."

Tavros let out a nervous "heh" at that before hips lips tugged into a smile and it turned into a low chuckle. "Does yours change?"

"Umm… well," And there she was fishing for words again as her legs began to kick back and forth idly where they hung over the chair's edge. "Not all too much. I mean I spent a _lot_ of time outside when I lived on the island with gramps but I never really, well, put much thought into it."

Tavros stayed silent, childish curiosity still lighting his eyes as he waited for her to continue and, had she been wearing such clothing, she would have tugged at her collar.

"I suppose there was the, um, occasionally lighter streak near the front?" Her voice lifted as if questioning her own response as one came up to brush at the strands lining her bangs. Gog this was awkward. "And it, uh, got shiny sometimes."

"Heh, you're, uh, starting to sound like me," Tavros replied as if chiding her suddenly staggered speech. It was rather out of character for both parties and they ended up simply grinning broadly at one-another before Jane was giggling in her usual bubbly fashion.

"Well anyway since we have about three full years to spend in this totally dark space rock you'll see my winter look instead," The Witch drawled with a warm smile as a light dusting of brown colored the troll's cheekbones and he mumbled something with his head lowered. "What was thaaat?"

"I, uh, said I…" Tavros began as he squirmed in his seat and his feet knocked together producing a metallic clink. "I'd like to, uh, see that. Humans are pretty interesting."

Jade poked the tip of her tongue out in the direction of the Taurus as she rose to her feet and flicked her hood up over her head, ears twitching about under the thick fabric before managing to maneuver into their slots. "You bet we are, but you're not too bad yourself."

She then reached out to prod one of his horns for emphasis before turning, and bounding across the room to slip into the brightly lit hallway.

* * *

_A.N::__ Herp derp. Ok, so, please don't kill me q.q I will admit that I find Jade x Tavros extremely adorable but that was not the focus of this bit, at least not intentionally ^.^' It just kind of wormed its way in with Tavros being all timid and blushy... ANYWAY, thoughts? I noticed the fact that all of the trolls have dark hair a while ago and started thinking more about it the other day because, well, can you even imagine a blonde or red-haired troll? It just doesn't really compute for me ._. As always feel free to request pairings, toss out a prompt, or add rage flames to my kindling if need be. As pre-established everyone is alive and well so that adversely means that Gamzee is still in as "stable" of a state as usual, it's likely that he'll begin to slip a bit throughout this since he is being sopor deprived though. Hee hee :]_

_One more thing! I recently decided to jump on the Pesterchum bandwagon and would love to be able to chat with some other Homestuck fanatics, my handle is insaneCollision if you feel like adding me~_

_Reviews to a writer_

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	6. Full of Surprises

_A.N::__ Very sorry for the slight delay on this new chapter but a bout of troublesome shenanigans from good ol' Life decided to butt in, though I also had a teensy bit of difficulty with this piece :I I'm not entirely sure why and it wasn't all too terrible but I can usually sit down to write longer portions than how it went this time around, meh. Either way I hope you enjoy the fifth snippet of the brain drivel that is Our Perthonal Athylum :D_

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**Title:: Full of Surprises  
****Word Count:: 2,160  
****Warnings:: None, this one is actually quite clean** :B  
**Summary:: The days continue to flit by on the meteor facility and the humans find themselves growing curious about their new home and the secrets it holds. One expedition in particular brings up an interesting item and Rose of all people is the one best fit to explain.**

A dainty sneeze issued from the corner of the dark room, sharp shadows cast over the dusty surroundings by only a single bulb dangling overhead. Rose patted lightly at her nose as she straightened up with a new object in her grip before brushing it off with a flick of her wrist. A tiny, plastic green W rested in her palm and the Seer smiled almost wistfully down at the object.

It was the beginning of week two on the meteor maze, as the humans had fondly begun referring to the dreary facility, and more and more was being discovered about their new otherworldly lodgings. The trolls didn't seem to have taken much of an interest in exploring much further than the computer hub and surrounding necessities so it left much to be uncovered. The hunk of rock almost seemed to… have a consciousness of its own.

In addition to the sudden appearance of beds, or slabs as the trolls had tagged them, other areas of the place were altering themselves to accommodate the new arrivals in small ways. Just the other day Jade had questioned the whereabouts of the kitchen and upon receiving a barrage of blank stares that left her flushing uncomfortably Dave offered up "food" instead. Apparently the correct term for Alternians was "nutrition block", whatever that meant. Anyway once the group had found their way into the bright room layered with tile and cabinets of dull uniformity they were met with a pleasant surprise.

After sifting through various foreign snacks, most likely troll oriented but more based around unknown brands then any freaky delicacies, John had nearly cried out in delight at his discovery. Fruit Loops. In other words; colorful rings of pure, unbridled joy with a powdered sugar dusting.

Even Rose and Dave had had to crack small grins at the familiar and enthusiastic toucan design decorating the rectangular cardboard box. Without further ado four generously portioned bowls were served and promptly devoured before more cabinet spelunking took place. There were cookies, bananas, and a box of fruit snacks/fruit by the foot mix that had their resident Heir wincing at the Betty Crocker brand symbol adorning the packaging. All in all the ordeal resulted in sky high spirits and a fair amount of light hearted laughter that had Karkat poking his head in to toss in a few angry words at their apparent racket. Good times.

And that was the general trend. Very much human items and equipment were appearing out of seemingly nowhere as their presence almost seemed to become catalogued by the meteor. It wasn't all too surprising, though, given what they had experienced already and Dave had readily declared that he, in another insightful quote, "Wouldn't be surprised if a mini-Green Sun was chuggin' away at the meteor's core." How else would they have working electricity? Obviously.

However the type of room they now found themselves in was a relatively new discovery. They were almost like storage nooks, resembling a stereotypical dusty attic with moldy cartons and boxes to match. These containers also yielded an array of items that seemed random at times, but also meaningful in some instances depending on the person.

A pocket watch, a rusty hand-gun, a scrap of patterned fabric, or a set of jingling keys. Each item was something that could only be identified by a single person and didn't even usually hold that much significance. It was more like a snippet of a hazy memory or something just strong enough to bring about a small smile as a memory resurfaced, but also served to make a certain sort of sadness arise as well. No one ever brought it up.

This time in particular Kanaya, Nepeta, Feferi, and a somewhat begrudging Equius and Eridan had accompanied the group in their idle sifting through the boxes and a curious hum suddenly echoed through the small room among the shuffling.

With a slight sneeze of her own that had her feline features wrinkling Nepeta pulled her torso free from the depths of a box with a battered looking black, leather container. She ran her clawed hands over it curiously, one finding its way to the metal clasp holding it closed and dropped her discovery with a squeak as it sprang open. "Aiyeeh!"

"Nepeta?" Equius' rough voice questioned at his morail's surprise as he clambered to his feet, having been sitting against the wall stubbornly refusing to acknowledge much of anything going on around him.

"Ooh," Nepeta seemed to have gotten over her initial surprise and was now crouching on all fours beside the object and looking over it with bright eyes wide in curiosity. "What's this?"

"What's what?" John asked as he tugged himself free from his own box and stumbled over, followed by the slouching form of Dave and an equally curious Jade.

"I don't know. That's why I'm currrious."

"I do believe that is a makeup kit," Now it was Rose's smooth voice cutting in as she rounded her friends to kneel down and grasp the box, her gaze holding a sort of fondness that wasn't entirely masked. She dragged her thin fingers over the inclining shelves and brushed over one square of the numerous, colored powders, regarding it with a small smile as the flesh came back dusted in a midnight blue.

"Makeup?" Jade echoed as she too dropped into a crouch to sidle up next to the Seer and gain a better view. After confirming that it was indeed what had been said her lips tugged upwards into a slight grin and she muffled a giggle. "I didn't know you liked this type of thing, Rose."

This prompted identical, disbelieving snorts from both John and Dave at the concept. Rose, the psychoanalyzing, grimdark teetering, Outer Ring god communicating, pretty much emo chick giving a flying flapdoodle about makeup? Not likely to say the least.

Rose only regarded her friends coolly before straightening up with the case still in her grip and flashing a cryptic smirk. "I believe there are a few more aspects left for you to discover about me, though this is actually something I was rather surprised about myself." She replied with a somewhat thoughtful tone creeping into her voice as she continued the explanation. "My mother seemed to one day decide that I should know these types of things, and so she briefly pushed aside our passive-aggressive tendencies and sat down for a full tutorial of sorts. Though I suppose that, if anything, she was… eccentric."

"Wwhat are you rambling cod swallowers going on about?" Eridan interrupted grumpily from where he stood with his arms crossed besides Feferi, who seemed just as curious about the newly discovered item as the other females. She only flicked one hand at him dismissively and his jaw visibly tightened before relenting with an angered huff.

"I apologize, but aside from what I can recognize as lipstick in the array we see before us we do not really have this sort of thing," Kanaya provided as a more diplomatic means of getting across the point, and it was true. Aside from the green lip paint the Virgo seemed so fond of the female trolls never appeared to be wearing any other sorts of cosmetics.

"Hee hee, maybe you should show them rather than tell, Rose," Jade interjected with an almost sly lilt to the statement as her furry ears twitched in earnest. Rose then seemed to ponder this for a moment before shrugging her shoulders, causing each of her friends to blink in surprise.

"I don't see why not."

* * *

"Are you quite finished yet?" Kanaya sounded the slightest bit impatient as the Seer continued to carefully work with the makeup at her disposal. She had been undertaking the "makeover" suggested eagerly by both Nepeta and Feferi for a solid half hour now and each movement of her pale hands seemed artful and deliberate, holding the majority of those in the room transfixed. Her subject, however, was growing visibly tired of the facial expressions she was directed to make as well as sitting utterly still on the cold floor.

Rose only hummed with the beginnings of a pleased smile lighting her features and she paused to shoo off those hovering over her shoulder. "Yes but it will progress more quickly if I'm allowed some space," She directed pointedly and John poked the tip of his tongue out in her direction before slinking off obediently, Dave chuckling quietly at the display.

Equius and Eridan alike had settled with simply grumbling unhappily to themselves on occasion given that their morails were being nothing but supportive of the endeavor. A few more minutes ticked by with the idle shuffling through a few more stray boxes before Rose suddenly drew back from Kanaya, gathered up the few tinted brushes she had been using, and closed the carrying case with a magnetic snap.

"There we are," She sounded pleasantly satisfied and was visibly restraining how wide a smile was allowed to curl her features as Kanaya blinked and clambered to her feet somewhat stiffly.

"Is that so?" The troll echoed and lifted one gray hand as if to brush at her cheek before a girlish squeal interrupted her mid-movement. Nepeta was staring with comically widened eyes and tail waving energetically behind her form towards the other girl and bounded forwards the few feet needed to bring her practically nose-to-nose with her.

"You look soooo puuuretty!" The Leo exclaimed with enthusiastic hand waving to match and after another moment or two of staring Feferi had joined in on the excitement, raving about the end result in a long string of chatter. Poor Kanaya could find no response to the onslaught and only flashed a nervous smile as her own curiosity began to swell, however it was her turn to blink in surprise as Rose produced a small square of reflective glass and presented it to the troll. Hesitating slightly due to nerves she then reached out, grasped the mirror and held it up before her face.

The sigh that met her was enough to practically unhinge her jaw and let it free-fall to the ground but she managed to contain herself to looking only like a mild idiot as her eyes bugged flashing large amount of yellowed whites. Whatever Rose had done, she had quite the handle on it. Through the use of a variety of silvery, charcoal-like powders her skin looked flawless and smooth as liquid steel with delicate cheekbones emphasized by darkened shadows. Her eyelids were colored in a shimmery green the brightened the barest flecks emerging in her irises and seemed deep set and mysterious because of the black outliner. Tying it all together was the vivid green lipstick most would consider her trade-mark and the Virgo was struck utterly speechless by the transformation; finding herself momentarily transfixed by her newly lengthened and curling lashes before she flushed a pale jade hue.

"I…" She began attempting to wrestle for the correct words to express her wonderment but finding none that seemed fitting. In the end all she could really do was flash a shaky smile and nod. "It is amazing."

Rose seemed sufficiently pleased and only returned the smile which turned a tad smug as she caught the very obvious stares directed towards the female troll, all of the males in question made sure to look away quickly. "Well I'm simply glad that you are pleased. I hoped that I still knew my way around cosmetics."

Jade made a sound unlike a squeaky pet toy at that and rushed forward to envelop the Seer in a fabric heavy squeeze. "That doesn't even begin to cover it! Rose you're awesome with makeup, do you think you could, um, teach me sometime?"

"Of course, Jade," Rose replied with a light chuckle and received a renewed grin and stream of excited chatter in return. Nepeta and Feferi were crowding around Kanaya in awe trying to get as close up a view as possible of the feat and said troll looked a bit uncomfortable at the wash of attention. Before she could be utterly overwhelmed, however, Rose pried herself away from her dog-eared friend long enough to move over and cut in.

"Now I do believe some showmanship is in order," She declared with a mischievous lilt to her tone and Kanaya's face only colored again at the words, averting her eyes to avoid direct contact. "Shall we… let the others in on our little accomplishment?"

She didn't even need to clarify as both Nepeta and Feferi exchanged shark-like grins between themselves and then grasped onto Kanaya's arms to begin tugging her bodily towards the door as the Virgo protested weakly from behind. Snippets of her lightly accented voice drifted back as she was dragged further along the space and she cast one last beseeching glance over her shoulder towards Rose, who only lifted her hand and wiggled its pale digits in a wave.

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_N.A:: So there we have it, woop. I'm satisified that I finally got this one out after sitting around in an open Word document for a while and this scenario in general might just be another head-cannon I'm developing. ouo I know that Kanaya has her lipstick and Gamzee his clown paint but think about just how much of an assortment we have, not hard to imagine it's a bit more extensive right? xD This may have also been a half-assed attempt at Rose x Kanaya which I am very fond of ._. Well then, thoughts? Pairing requests? Crazy prompts? I look forward to it all~_

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	7. Crimson Curtain

_A.N::__ Still trying to get into some sort of updating groove, with limited success ._. I know that in the general scheme of fanfiction I update rather frequently but these basically come out as quickly as the dark recesses of my mind are willing to produce, that it not a comforting statement. Well... anyway... part 6 xD I'm attempting to stick to the path of patron-centric chapters before I go more into my prompts but I received my first request last chapter and it frankly made me much happier than it should have. No you cannot know just what character smush is clawing its way up to OTP status in my mind _ I'm doing my best to beat it back but there is no escape. NONE_

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**Title:: Crimson Curtain  
Word Count:: 1,662  
****Warnings:: Swearing for the sake of character -n-  
Summary:: Dave Strider is nothing if not one very cool dude. He is the epitome of chill and all its other functions and to maintain this he naturally has a rule or two to follow, now if only Terezi would quit pestering him about matters of utmost secrecy.**

Dave's fingers closed around the cool metal of yet another cyndrilical can and he lifted it up to his face lazily. He then regarded it with his usual flat expression before his lips twitched into a slight scowl as he squinted behind his tinted lenses.

"Can we turn up the lights in here or something?" The Knight muttered as he struggled to make out the small, uniform text labeling this particular can. "The citizens of the all mighty Cantopia will not be forced to deal with shittily unorganized can structures flaring up their eye-sores."

An amused snicker met him in response with Terezi as the source. She continued to scribble on the otherwise bland concrete floor with her fluorescent chalk, not bothering to lookup for obvious reasons at his complaint. "Well I'm obviously not the best judge of sight conditions now, Mr. Cool. So what exactly has got your metaphorical feathery ass all ruffled?

Dave snorted before plunking the can down beside his crossed legs with a resounding 'thunk'. "Said feathery ass is perfectly pressed and ironed as always, I'm appalled that you'd say otherwise." At the rather unconvinced dead-pan he received in response he rolled his eyes behind his shades before continuing. "Can't read the fucking microscopic print on some of these hunks of tin, and I swear by my platonic hatred of all things associated with plush puppet probiscus that there will be well sorted architecture. Jeez I can't believe I have to even define my hate, quadrant implications or whatever are a bitch."

"That they are, Cool Kid," The Seer mused with a grin sharp as a razor's edge and flashing just as dangerously in the sparingly lit room. If possible the fluorescent bulbs lighting the space had spontaneously decided to begin trudging down death row with sputters of suffering in its wake. It was getting difficult to see anything not directly in front of one's face and the clatter of displaced cans as WV accidentally toppled a constructed tower was a clear testament to that fact.

This had become an idle pastime of the three so far when Dave wasn't off spelunking with the other humans and the Knight found it ironically amusing. When you had so many cans lying around housing gog knows what why not embark on an adventure of creation? The vibrant chalk at her disposal also seemed to partially sate Terezi's color cravings so the Libra was less prone to slopping her saliva all over his face, this was a sizeable bonus in itself.

However, the lack of light was quickly becoming a hindrance and Dave found himself growing disgruntled by the effort it took to decipher can labels in any way. He opened his mouth to let another train of metaphor ladened drawling pour fourth but Terezi interrupted with her usual snarky yet also curious tone.

"Why don't you just, I don't know, take off those shades you're so attached to? Heh, they're probably making it a bit difficult," She remarked seeming almost sly in the way that she looked up towards him over her candy red lenses.

"The golden rule of cool: Never, and I mean not even when the pseudo apocalypse is goin' down, does a cool guy lose the shades. It just doesn't happen, capeesh?"

"Heh, now how did I know you would say that? Mr. Cool is getting predictable," Terezi's voice was teasing now, taking on a sing-songy undertone that effectively grated his nerves and caused him to cross his arms over his chest. "Not, dare I say, _self-conscious_ are we?"

"To hell with that. To the lake of fire and fucking brimstone in the sixth circle of hades with that. It is law, something I am unfortunately helpless to change even with all of my extensive and elaborate talents."

Terezi gave a non-plussed 'mhm' in reply and continued to scribble idly on the ground. She had effectively hung a silent challenge up for all to see and for all his cool guy suave the cane-wielding, psycho, alien chick just had a certain talent for getting his aforementioned metaphorical feathers in a twist. He supposed it made their time together more interesting to an extent, or at least that was one way to put it.

"I see I've left you struck speechless, glad you understand the golden principles of cool a bit better," He continued in a slow drawl as he too returned half-heartedly to his task of sorting through the nearby assortment of cans. Terezi snickered quietly and Dave fought the urge to simply snap at the sharp-tongued troll, however that would be decidedly uncool and make him seem like no more than a little ecto brat sparking a tantrum.

"What? No more actual words to be exchanged?" He settled with grumbling and inwardly winced when he realized that the last few lines had been pretty much him babbling to the open air with how unresponsive the Libra was being. Said viper of a girl was now flashing him a knowing grin, fully aware of the slick little lizard she had caught in her claws. He had strolled into that one like the new kid into questionable stairways at the local public school and was met with no less traumatic consequences.

"You. Have. A. _Secret._ Don't you, Dave?" Terezi enunciated each syllable in the phrase with precision which seemed like a minor enhancement compared to the fact that she had actually used his name. Damn this was getting a bit too heavy for his liking. "I may be blind but I can see right through you."

"Oh yeah?" Dave challenged sharply with a burning glower lighting behind his shades. He could feel himself practically bristling as the less than ideal topic was skirted dangerously like some sort of fucking adrenaline junkie of a ballerina. "And just what am I _hiding_ if you are so sure of yourself?"

"Heh, if I knew that then I wouldn't really be asking would I? I have my guesses that I would put a few solid boonbucks on but a true legislacerator doesn't rest until every last dirty detail is uncovered."

Silence fell over the small space as Dave simply dropped his dark gaze to the ground stubbornly and Terezi regarded him not unlike a hunter would watch its prey as it stumbled about unaware of the nearby danger. WV shifted from foot to foot uneasily in the far corner and the carapace glanced between each of the room's other occupants before he nudged his toe at one nearby can, and shuffled quickly towards to door to slip out.

"Why do you even have this deranged need to know?"

"Why are you hiding it if there's no reason I should be curious?"

_Shit,_ Dave swore inwardly as he was once again countered in his attempt to simply brush aside the line of questioning. He was feeling more than degraded at this point and Terezi seemed to be drawing full enjoyment from every agonizing second.

She clucked her tongue before chuckling again and leaning her weight backwards, bracing herself on her hands, before extending one leg to kick over a nearby tower of cans. They plummeted to the ground and bounced about in a flurry of metallic clangs that echoed faintly in the nearly empty, enclosed space. "You're not doing a very good job of defending yourself here, Dave. In fact I think your silence is all the confession I need."

That got him, with an audible snarl he snapped out one arm to topple his own previous can project with a vengeance that sent the cyndrilical pieces ricocheting in multiple directions and rolling off into the shadows. "Fine then, _Terezi_. Can't contain your burning curiosity? Is it really gnawing at you like some slobbery canine with a slab of meat hanging in front of its nose? Well I guess I'm obliged to pull back the curtain on this elaborate ruse you've so smartly sniffed out, congratu-fucking-lations my psychotic companion."

Dave's voice only rose and grew more feverent as the words came pouring out and he clambered to his feet in the process. It took two short strides to cross the space between him and the troll and he angled his body forward to loom over her as one hand came up to grip the frame of his shades before, abruptly, tearing them off. A heavy silence immediately fell over the two.

"…"

"…"

"Heh, no real surprise there."

"… shut up."

"Oh I seem to have agitated Mr. Cool."

"I just- What the actual fuck, TZ?"

"I'm not all too clear on how your human hemospectrum works but you kinda made it obvious with that candy red text you're so fond of. Delicious."

"Che, you're really impossible. You know that right?"

"I try my suave friend. You should really keep those thing off by the way, you smell so _nice._"

"And here we are skipping non-consensually into creeped to the out territory again." Dave muttered as he moved to draw back from the Libra. She had begun to lean upwards into dangerously close to personal bubble popping territory and he had the sneaking suspicion it dealt with a desire to get a better whiff of his peepers. Gog help him if she planned to spring a taste test as well.

"I sure learned a lot, heh. Who knew Mr. Cool had his touchy points and could be so easily…wound up." And there was that teasing tone again that could only be countered by a perfectly crafter poker face, which he called up instantly.

"No, fuck no. A Strider is anything but easily "wound up", witness the air quotes for emphasis, so you'd better get the idea out of your think-skillet or whatever you guys call it."

"… heh, not a chance."

"I really may hate you."

"In what way, Dave?"

"Screw you and your implications, I'm not defining."

"Then I guess I'm free to assume."

"Yes, assume to your dark little heart's content."

* * *

_A.N::__ This idea of Dave being self-conscious over his fascinating irises is pretty much a universal head-canon now but I just had to bring it up, the fact that I've been trekking through a particularly amazing, Dave-centric fic called Obscura doesn't exactly help either ouo This is also a particularly suckish attempt at some semblance of a pairing but hopefully it'll fade in if you squint and perform a variety of other perspective altering head angling. Either way, thoughts? Characters you want to see shamelessly (but not really since I am the worst with secondhand embarrassment) smushed together? Crazy prompts that happened to worm into your head? I want to hear em' all :B_

_Reviews to a writer_

_Are like chicken soup to the soul_

_So then, mind passing me a bowl?_

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